Happy New Year. It's almost ten p.m. and I'm finally out of bed. I'm on the couch. I started the year by sleeping through a scheduled session with my career coach. A bad sign, I'm sure. My resolutions this year are: 1)to exercise every day even if it means dancing to one song in my kitchen. 2)Saturday is art day, a day dedicated to visual art every week. I'm considering a resolution around livejournal posting every day. Okay, fine, I'll do it. 3)to make an lj post every day. I also feel that it's necessary to say that I will try not to have any affairs this year, that I will be nicer and more respectful about people's neurotic shit since it doesn't oppress me generally and they are usually doing their best and who am I to be a bitch and point out how ridiculous you are in a snarky ironic way when we both already know I'm as sick and weird as you are, that I will finally make green smoothies for Billy like I've promised for months, that I will not abuse premsyn or midol, that I will clean my house and get rid of stuff I don't ever wear or use, that I will find a way to earn money regularly and not quit after six weeks because Billy tells me to stop crying and that I don't have to go back to that horrible place where they make me work. I will not start any craft based businesses. I will not make a zine. I will not be in a band. I will not go to any poetry slams ever again even if it is an invitational event with lots of old friends where I do not compete but still have to sit around for three hours listening to awful poetry get squeezed through earnest yet unconvincing young bodies that don't have good mic technique while I wait for my three minute spot. No. Not ever again. I will not enroll in any program that has the words, "investigation" "powerful" "empowered" "spiritual" "sensual" or "soul-based" in the title. I will not diet. I will not ever go on a diet ever again. I think that's everything for this year. Except that I've decided to be a professional monologuist like Spalding Gray or Eve Ensler but with better hair although I am working some blunt bangs at the moment.
That's a list, alright! I love the professional monologist concept. It makes more sense to me than just calling it "standup". I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to getting out of here & getting writing.. I may be up for an actual visit today, possibily. I'll call you.
It's gonna be a good year, dammit, if we have to pull it out by it's teeth. Maybe you slept through your life coach because you need to be your own life coach?
On January 2nd, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
In anticipation of your good hair monologues (your lj entries being a good start...), I will add you to the monologists page on www.spaldinggray.com
Keep me abreast of your books and dvds and of course live shows...
Thanks (posting a link to you may take a bit of time...)
webmaster for Estate of Spalding Gray (I liked his hair...)
DearJB, Thank you so much for the kind comments, hell, thanks for looking at my blog in the first place! My book, Stoners and Self-Appointed Saints, is available on Amazon and I will be reading at CityLights Books in San Francisco on 2/17. If you're in that part of the world, do come by and have a grilled cheese sandwich (it's a silly thing we've been doing at readings --- making grilled cheeses on the George Foreman Grill). Thank you again for linking me on your site whenever that happens!
Cheers and All the Best,
On January 3rd, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) replied:
Done in Updates (as your book receives such excellent reviews - relatively rare that I give anyone but Spud's family/Spalding Gray inspired event a place in Updates) - also put you in Monologists.
I would love to attend your reading as I would love just to be in Frisco but I live in Victoria, BC...maybe I can get my adopted daughter to go as she lives in Frisco when not being a gypsy in Serbia...
the grilled cheese/Foreman grill is nice touch. Song with download on site - Spalding's Lament - was to have a video with George in it but it never got funding ):
gotta put your book on my short list...