Shipping · and · Handling

I'm working the poet-bohemian housewife corner.

Someone just asked me to write this down for her (actually, she asked me weeks ago but I finally got around to doing it today) and I thought it might be of use to some of my single lj friends. I used this spell to find JeetJeet Cotter and my dear friend Julia used it to find her sweet husband Andy and my old Seattle friend Katie G used it to get her amazing husband! And guess what? All three of those men had jobs!!! Whoohoohoo! So! please use the spell or share it freely. Feel free to change pronoun/gender, it will still work like a charm!
1) Write down a description of the kind of man you are looking for. Use positive, affirmative language only and write down the description as if he IS your man. Describe the man you truly want, not a man you think you can get or deserve.
Here is an example of the wrong way to do it:
"I just want a nice guy who won't fuck me over all the time."
Here is an example of the right way to do it:
“My man is a precious, delightful guy. He is tall and handsome in a unique way. He laughs a lot. He is kind to people.”
Try to think of the essential qualities that are most important to you and describe those as vividly and truly as you can.
Try not to be overly specific about silly outward things like, “he drives a 2007 maroon colored Chevy S10 pickup.” Instead focus on what is behind those things, or the essential characteristics that are important to you. You could write, “My man has a reliable, attractive vehicle, he takes good care of it and he loves to take me on long rides into the country.” See the difference? The first description of his car is meaningless, it says nothing about the kind of man he is.
2) Describe a typical day in your relationship. Again, use positive, affirmative language in the present tense.
Here is the wrong way to do it:
“I would like it if I had a guy who brought me flowers once in a while.”
Here is the right way to do it:
“My man calls me every day at lunch. He always says some sweet thing about how beautiful I am and how he can’t wait to see me.”
Really try to imagine a whole day and also special days like birthdays and holidays. Also, write about how you handle tough times together, when one or both of you are having a bad day.
3) Write down all the things that you give to him. Be specific and write in the present tense in a positive way just like the previous two parts. “One of the ways I give love to my man is by really listening to him when he talks about his day at work.” Or “Every week I make my man the most beautiful yummy Sunday breakfast”.
The really important thing about this part is to focus on the ways you WANT to give to a man rather than the things you think a man would want or would keep him with you. Imagine all the fun and wonderful ways you could share your gifts with him.
4) After you have done all this thinking and writing (and it may take some time) read the whole thing, keep it with you for a while --- a month or so --- and read it a lot. Change things as they occur to you, add things, take things out, etc.
5) When the month is over (or when you feel that all the writing is done) write at the end these words:
THY WILL BE DONE.
THANK YOU.
And then sign your full name.
6) When you are ready, let go of the actual pages that you wrote all this down on. Some people burn it. I threw my book in the Puget Sound in Seattle. Don’t just put it in your drawer. Get rid of it --- throw it in the lake or ocean or river or burn it.
7) Get on with your life and know that when the time is right, your man WILL show up!!!

Can you believe we've been together for nine big ones?We went to the Imax and saw "Wild Ocean 3" yesterday with our darling friend (and great photograper) Eva. Today we are celebrating by drinking too much coffee and cleaning the house. I know it doesn't sound terribly romantic or ecstatic but I really wouldn't have it any other way (to be honest, I wouldn't actually mind skipping the cleaning part.)

Writing! Going for walks! Drinking coffee! Taking trips! Interplay! Making big drawings! Visits from Carly and Sialia! Jude moves in to her house! Books get published! Drink more coffee! Have little parties! Get a new president! So many things to enjoy! Yay 2009!

Shrink is when a store has product that gets ruined or stolen or made wrong or otherwise lost and can not be sold. All stores hate shrink! Even though I am not a store, I hate shrink! Here is a picture of my 500 cookie shrink from a couple of weeks ago --- I made them wrong! I had to throw them all away! I still have a big plastic bucket of cookies from that same batch that I just can't bear to throw out yet. I don't use them. I'm just keeping them. Sometimes late at night I open the bucket and throw a bunch of them out in the yard for the trash pandas (large possums).

On a lighter note, I did a crazy birthday cake for Olivia at Sugarmama's. It is her son Jack's first birthday. There are two cakes. One is his to eat and smash up and one is the big party peas day resistance.

pretty fucken' cute if I do say so myself!
Billy had a birthday recently and I did not make him a great cake. I bought him a frozen key lime pie from Walmart that gave us both stomach aches. Poor Billy! Don't feel too bad though, Billy got some steaks in the mail from his sister Missy.

He also got eight hamburgers!
In closing, I would like to share a picture of Billy's wonderful heater lighting invention.

We had a fantastic time at Helen's cute witch house in South Austin. We laughed, we cried! We had a potluck and spiritual activities. For someone up to her eyeballs in cookie decoration, I'm managing to have some really special fun times lately. Am I actually enjoying the holidays? Incredible!

I have a couple of friends who are also scorpios and we try to do a scorpio birthday lunch date every year. Usually we have chain Chinese food (P.F.Chang's) this year we had all you can eat Brazilian steak house. Everyone ATE. I had lamb, chicken, pork, and beef. I also had fried polenta, a huge plate of marinated veggies (including like a hundred artichoke hearts), and for dessert a swimming pool of creme brulee. It was totally ridiculous!
Here is the group

I can't tell you how much I love being surrounded by cute men offering me steak on a sword!

They never stop! Here is a cute picture of some autumn cookies (squirrels and leaves) on display at Sugar Mama's Bakeshop (where I do my big production baking now). www.sugarmamasbakeshop.com

Here are some beautiful pics that Leah P. (a real photographer) took for me!
www.ellestudios.com



She did a very nice job and she was super sweet and affordable!

Really.

that I can't even write a fun post about my trip to Earthsprings retreat center for an Interplay workshop or the big baby shower cake (100 people) I made and then had to throw away and make all over again or the fact that I am turning 40 on Sunday and I feel happier and hotter and more powerful than I ever have in my entire life! Hooray! Here's some pics from the trip, the cake, and some new cookies. MMMMWA!

A beautiful autumn day! I walked to the radically over-priced neighborhood market and marvelled at the beauty of nature and strange things you find in the gutter. I brought home samples and made a small ikebana platter for the living room.

Isn't it lovely?
While I was walking I noticed that I am looking at things differently, noticing and paying attention visually in a more analytical way and I think this is because I am in school taking artistic classes. Here is the very wonderful interesting feature of my new analytical perspective: instead of dampening my joy and ecstatic appreciation of the visual world and pretty plants and flowers and stuff, it has electrified it! Hooray school and learning and seeing in new ways! Hooray careful observation! I think this is why Leonardo da Vinci said you must see the art in science and the science in art. Wow!
Here is a drawing from my art class! It is such a Drawing I drawing isn't it? Shapes and a spooky thing the teacher put on the table.

I like this one better than the drawing of the mannequin leg and the space heater although that one is pretty nice. Where do art teachers find this silly crap?
On a different note, WSC is not enjoying the autumn like I am. He has not been outside lately.

Sadly, this is not a pose! I came home the other night from my exciting life of learning and exploring to find this. Here is a close up of the book on the bed

Poor William Cotter is writing and rewriting his book. Here he is right now.

Here are pictures from the big party I helped organize, staff, cater, and decorate. Did I mention sew the giant tablecloth for the buffet? Find, buy, bleach, launder, and press 100 vintage linen damask napkins? Bake and decorate the cakes? Hire the waitstaff? Train the oyster shucker? Find the band? Make my man Jiujee work the gig and do dishes all night?

I made these super cute party favors out of Jordan almonds.

Here they are in a cute arrangement next to the cute groom's cake sitting on the cute 16th century velvet cloth on the cute 15th century cabient.

Here is the beautiful oyster shucker

the very nice bartender

guests hanging out (including city council lady Laura Morrison)


the very best party staff ever!

my cakes and desserts (meringue cups filled with lemon curd, candied grapefruit peel dipped in dark chocolate, crisp butter cookies with raspberries, brie and grapes, vanilla cake with whip cream icing and marzipan, chocolate cake with ganache, and kinder eggs!)


my kitchen after making all that stuff


and last but certainly not least, my jiujee eating soup out of the pan the day after the party because all of our bowls were dirty.

My ceramics teacher, Sharon, is emphatic about certain things: earnest exploration of creativity, engagement in process, contributing energy to the community of the class, cleaning up after yourself, finding your totem animal, cake and/or doughnuts, and of course, no bongs and no dongs! If you make a pipe or a dick or a pipe that looks like a dick, it will not be fired and you will be in big trouble. Today I made my first coil and pinch pot. It sucks! I really loved working on it though and I can't wait for next class to work on it some more. Clay is very fun!

I have a viral flu thing and have been in bed since Thursday. I didn't mind it so much while I was watching my way through every episode of every season of Lost but now I am finished and I am just sick and I can not visit my friends on the island. Is there another show to watch? Any suggestions?